February 13, 2020 journal entry excerpt:
What I'm learning in these last few weeks is that there is a lot to learn. Have you ever started something like this? Something you had no idea of how your idea would turn into reality? I've been feeling all the feels - diligent, hardworking, triumphant, proud, worthy, capable, surprised.
Not to mention scared, apprehensive, meek, frustrated, angry, and puzzled. I realize what I'm experiencing is normal. It's been an eye-opening experience. It's humbling. I have a newfound appreciation for startups and entrepreneurs. This shit's not easy.
I hate to think it, but I do - I think of what it's like to have a disability and to take on the Goliath task before me.
Why do it? What for? Who else is doing something like this? Is it worth it?
But is it? What if I make my operation as small and simple as possible?
Why do I have to picture myself on the cover of Entrepreneur magazine with Gary Vaynerchuk? I'm weeding through what I want and what I need.
Now, 6 months later, I have gained more insight into what I want this business to be. I want it to be developed mindfully, with the most earnest intentions to serve others. I continue to work on my mindset and dismantle the unfavorable thoughts still lingering around my head.
Moving along in my journey, I have had the honor and privilege of working with an amazing coach, whose Wild Woman Rising Facebook community provides daily inspiration for womxn. If you're a womxn who is looking for connection and an authentic, and expressive community of writers, this may be a group for you. You can also get to know Shannon Whaley through her dynamic programs, such as the upcoming storytelling-focused Trust Yourself, Trust Your Story 5 Day Livestream Series August 3-7, 2020.
Having a coach has been a godsend. I now have so much more knowledge and tutelage to help me continue along my journey. I have a framework for business success. I am nurtured by a community that fuels me with motivation and empowerment. I'm beyond amazed by the talented womxn out there, following their hearts and living life on their terms. I'm given so many examples to follow and pathways to draw wisdom. Now to keep consistent while bobbing and weaving through emotional and life hurdles.
Despite the blocks and barriers that presented themselves last month, I refuse to focus on those things now. I'm accepting the challenge I made to myself and the one tasked by the universe to take one step at a time toward my goals.
July wasn't all grim and dreary. I have been focusing on strengthening personal relationships with those closest to me. It has been a relief to my soul to do repair and maintenance with familial ties.
Our private Facebook Group, BIPOC Mental Health Forum - Black, Indigenous, People of Color, is gaining momentum and growing daily.
This is a peer-led forum whose aim is to connect BIPOC to interact with other individuals with mental health conditions, engage in dialogue about mental health, forge connections, share resources, create community, and exchange support and information, as well as meeting and exchanging ideas with other participants in the group. We invite you to share space in which you can breathe, be heard, and feel safe.
After some scheduling issues, I'm grateful for the opportunity to assist with the Washington State Certified Peer Support Training Examination process. It will even provide the chance to use some Español.
I was also fortunate to forge a new connection and speaking engagement with folx at King County Community Wellbeing Team. There are possibilities to collaborate with the team on mental wellness for Seattle and King County. So exciting! More on that to follow.
For now, my job is to keep focused on my strengths and stamp out the pesky negative self-talk that rears its head. Sure, I'll allow myself the time to wallow, like when I was zoom bombed and had to scramble to take care of the aftermath, and permit myself to be in my feelings about being apart from my partner for 11+ weeks. I can't focus on the negativity and scarcity in the world. I'll listen to my body and heed its instructions.
I know my clients need me to be focused so that I may deliver them the best possible service as a coach, speaker, and yoga instructor.
I know my fellow business leaders are grinding it out daily and are looking to me to bring it as well!
I know it has been a rewarding journey thus far.
I know I can fulfill my dreams.
I know I will.
Matthew Wilder put it succinctly in song:
Ain't nothing gonna break my stride
Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh no
I got to keep on moving
Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride I'm running
And I won't touch ground
Oh no
I got to keep on moving
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